Last updated: S x, 19xx

It is assumed — without necessity of proof — that by entering this domain, the user has, at some unspecified time, agreed to all necessary agreements.

Though these Terms cannot be read in full (nor are they available in any central repository), the User is expected to have intuited their structure in advance. Should a contradiction appear between what was expected and what occurs, the fault lies entirely with the User.

These Terms are binding and self-amending. Their nature is mutable, not unlike the corridor in which the accused was once invited to wait (and did, loyally, until death).

Article I: Access and Use

Access to this website is neither granted nor denied. It simply occurs.

Any action taken on this site — clicking, scrolling, lingering, hesitating — constitutes both acceptance and violation of the Terms.

The site may be revoked at any time, for reasons not disclosed, possibly not known.

Article II: User Conduct

Users must behave in accordance with a set of principles that cannot be fully described, but whose breach will be immediately apparent to the invisible Committee.

To dispute a decision, one must file Form 37-B (“Denial of Self-Knowledge”) and present it at the window that does not open.

Article III: Data and Responsibility

All data collected shall remain sealed in a file within a drawer, in a cabinet, in an office, in a building whose location is provisional.

Responsibility for that data is held by an Administrator who has not been seen in many years. It is said he once visited the site himself, but did not agree to the Terms and was therefore absorbed into them.

If your data is lost, it is assumed you gave it willingly.

Article IV: Termination

You may terminate your usage of the site at any time. However, such termination does not affect the binding nature of this Agreement, which continues indefinitely.

The only recognized method of exit is retroactive annulment, pending approval from the Tribunal of Abstract Violations.

Article V: S

This clause should already be known to you.

If unknown, please report to the Bureau of Unforseen Circumstances and fill out form C-894-0j. Please allow anywhere from 8 weeks to an indefinite period for a reply. If the site is not here upon your return, you can cancel your request by filling out an amendment form C0-904-74f.

Final Clause

There is a door marked "Terms & Agreements." A man stands before it. He asks to enter. The guard says "not yet." He waits his entire life. At the moment of his death, he asks: "Why, in all these years, did no one else try to enter?"

The guard replies: "No one was here."